


Sympathy for Scootaloo

by TheScooter



Series: AnonDad [1]
Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: Anon - Freeform, Anon in Equestria, Gen, Scootaloo - Freeform, anonymous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-28
Updated: 2012-03-28
Packaged: 2017-11-02 15:07:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/370326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheScooter/pseuds/TheScooter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anon, just a regular guy, has been living in Equestria for sometime. When he takes in a lone Pegasus filly, he learns what it means to be a dad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sympathy for Scootaloo

**Author's Note:**

> Spawned from a Chan boards "Anon in Equestria" threads.

Wake up to smoke.

OMG THE HOUSE IS FIRE!

Rush out to the kitchen.

”Oops... sorry,” is the only reply from the little orange Pegasus.

Oh that’s right. You saw Scootaloo wandering around late at night dejectedly and let her crash on your couch.

Wait, why was she just wandering? Oh well, the bigger question “Why are trying to burn my house down?”

”I wanted to thank you for letting me use your couch. I thought I could make you breakfast.”

You look at the mess. No cooking cutie mark for her.

”Um that’s cool, I usually don’t...” Knock at the door.

Oh gee, who could that be?

Oh yes, Flutterape. “What is it today Flut?”

”Oh, um.. I just wanted to.” She peers around you.

Damnit Scoots! She’s rubbing her flank. CUTIE MARKS ARE NOT LIKE SCRATCH-N-SNIFF STICKERS!

Fluttershy blushes and looks back to you. “Oh my, I didn’t realize... I must be too old for....” You don’t give her a chance to finish and slam the door in her face.

You hear a muffled “Oh... ok.. later then..” From the other side of the door.

Now that that’s over, you turn to the filly houseguest “Um.. do you need me to walk you to school or something?”

She gives you a confused look “Uh no. My wings and board can get me there faster than you can walk”

Well sheeet what the fuck do you know about kids?

You chuckle awkwardly. You have to admit it was nice to have someone... pony around last night. You sad lonely bastard.

She’s walking towards the door “If you want I guess you could come by AFTER school.

Applebloom has to help on the farm and Sweetie Belle is helping Rarity with her filly fashion line”  
That makes you smile. Not that Scootaloo wants to hang out more, but that if Apple Bloom’s .

busy, so will Applejack. Chance of rape decreased by 50%.

After she leaves, you decide to hit the market and replace some of the food she destroyed.

”Hi Anon!” Oh lord! Oh it’s just Pinkie.

You breathe a sigh of relief “Oh hey Pinkie” You wave and go back to shopping.

Wait a second. Pinkie knows everything about everyp0ny in town.

”Hey Pinkie. Do you mind checking with Scootaloo’s parents. It was late last night and she was wandering around. I took pity on her and let her stay at my place.” Better safe than sorry, don’t want to be labeled a filly pony pedo.

Pinkie ponders for a second “I don’t think she HAS parents.”

How horrifying “Well.... Where does she live?”

”Ummmmmm THE CLOUDS! I wish I could live on a cloud. I bet it’s like sleeping on marshmallows. That gives me an IDEA.” And away she goes.

You think back. Scootaloo isn’t a great flier. In fact you doubt you’ve ever seen her fly.....  
Is she? Is she a homeless orphan and nop0ny cares?

Who are you to judge? maybe Pegasuses... Pegasi... Whatever, are different. Maybe they don’t have parents or are raised communally?

Maybe you can ask. You only know of 2 though.

DAMNIT! Why did Rainbro have to go to BoltCon this year? Well, you’re sure as hell not asking Fluttershy.

Maybe you could just ask Scootaloo herself later.

Tricky girl. Probably knew you’d be a sucker and let her stay over again.

Poor kid.

You take a little bit of extra time to run by Sugarcube Corner and pick up a cake.

Who better to look after a kid then a bachelor? Cake for dinner? Why the fuck not?

You’re feeling pretty good. You’ll be helping out a friend in need and all that good stuff Twilight keeps shouting about.

You get to the schoolhouse just as a flood of youngin’s charge out.

they part as they scurry around and past you.

You are a pony Moses.

Scootaloo buzzes up on her scooter. “You came!”

That wasn’t expected.

She coughs nonchalantly.

Quick idiot, say something “I accidentally bought a cake for dinner”

Ok, don’t worry. It’s not like you sound like you’re trying to get her into your van or anything.

”Would you like some cake?” WHY ARE YOU SO BAD AT THIS?

Shut up brain and let me think!

”Ok, let’s go” She says as she putters off down the road at your walking speed.

Either you didn’t do as bad as you thought, or she’s just WAY too naive.

You shrug and catch up to her.

Your Fluttershy sense tingles!

You walk next to her silently.

Why are you taking it upon yourself to look after her?

Why didn’t you ask around town?

There has to be a reasonable explanation.

Also, Why do you feel like you need a shower?

The bushes rustle, followed by your jimmies.

”Damn it Fluttershy! Why’d I know...” *BAM* a fuzzy ball of anger hits you between the eyes and down you go.

”Good job Angelbaby.”

Stupid ninja bunny. He gives you a boot to the gut for good measure.

Oh god why’s he so strong?!

”Now now, no need for that.” Fluttershy says.

Thank goodness!

Wait, did you just thank Fluttershy? You know what’s most likely next right?

She stands over you and looks down with a not at all creepy smile “This was Angel’s idea. I’m so sorry, but at least I have you...”

Scootaloo is behind her sobbing.

”Oh wha.. I...” Fluttershy stumbles.

Scootaloo wipes her tears “Are.. Are you going to hurt him?”

Fluttershy looks like she may cry too “Oh no, I wouldn’t. I’m just going to take him and...”

A large sob from Scootaloo cuts her off “Please don’t take him! I have no where else to go!”  
Damnit, if you could just catch your breath, you’d smack Fluttershy’s shit and run.

But wait, she’s wavering “I.. oh.. I’m sorry. I guess I don’t have to today. Um have a nice evening I guess” And just like that she disappears into the bushes with her assassin rabbit of hate.

You get to your knees and look to Scootaloo, make sure she’s ok.

She has her back to you and her shoulders move up and down. You reach out.

She turns towards you laughing her ass off. “I can’t believe that worked!”

My nig-mare.

You straighten yourself out. “Good one. Let’s get that cake Scoots.”

After you two get home and share a nutritious dinner of cake, you start looking through your modest collection of movies.

Damn, nothing age appropriate.

”So uh, need help with your homework or anything?” You ask. That’s something kids do right? Homework?

She climbs up onto the couch and looks at you with confusion “Miss. Cheerilee doesn’t usually do that.”

”Oh.” You sit in silence for a minute. “I could help with that Cutie Mark thing you like.”

She frowns “That’s something me and my friends do.”

Well this is turning out just swimmingly isn’t it.

No time like the present. Just play this one smooth.

”Well I guess I should get you home then. I’m sure your parents are worried sick about you”

”She frowns and looks down “Ok I get it.” She hops off the couch and grabs her scooter. “Most  
ponies don’t like to have me around either.”

Ow damn. That.... Ow

”Well....”

What are you doing?

“I guess if they wouldn’t mind”

RED ALERT!

“You could stay another night or so”

Dumbass.

Shut up brain, I made my choice.

She’s so happy, look at her.

Her little wings flail about and you swear she hovers a few feet off the ground.

More than hover, hell she’s flying.

Damn she’s fast and where’s she going?

Why are you looking at the ceiling and why does your chest hurt?

Oh that’s right... She plowed into you

”Thankyouthankyouthankyou!”

A wheezing cough is all you can muster.

You spend an enjoyable rest of the evening. You decide that a PG-13 movie would be alright. Anything to keep her occupied and let your ribs maintain a not broken state.

Hell, poor thing probably hasn’t seen many movies.

She’s glued to the TV.

Every so often she’ll exclaim or point out something particularly awesome.

She’s so excitable and just all around daww inspiring.

She’s like the little sister you never asked for.

Halfway into the third movie, you notice she’s passed out.

You probably have diabetes right now... Then again the cake for dinner probably didn’t help.

You get up and fetch a blanket to drape over her before heading back to your own room

Oh your poor ribs.

Why is something so small so dense?  
You reflect on the events of the day and...

MY GOD MAN! YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?

Not now brain, I’m feeling pretty happy with myself.

WELCOME TO FATHERHOOD ASS BUTT!

Well.. that’s a little harsh.

No it’s not! You are now taking a familial role in her life. You are now her family support structure. Good going hero.

I... Well... Damnit brain! Why didn’t you say something sooner?

OH! YOU! That’s it, I am sooooo going to ooze out of your nose while you sleep or something.

No you won’t, you need me as much as I need you.... Wait, am I asleep already?

Yeah man, that’s why you’re able to have such a detailed conversation with your brain.

Makes sense.

You awake with a start and try to keep your brain in your skull.

No that was a dream.

WAIT! No... nothing burning this morning.

You check the front room.

”Morning Anon” Scootaloo calls out from the dining table. “There’s still cake left over, so I figured I didn’t need to make breakfast today”

Oh cake. You’re nourishing and prevented a house fire. Is there anything you CAN’T do?  
You grab a slice and sit down.

”So you have school today?” That’s a good parent like question right?

She giggles a little “No, it’s the weekend duh”

You laugh it off.

What? now you’re trying to make me look bad brain?

You do that well enough on your own.

Shut up brain

”Have any plans today?” Oh yeah this caretaker thing is easy.

She goes to take her plate to the sink, but you stop her. She’s too short to reach the counter anyways and you’re afraid if she flew again, she’d revert back into a projectile.

”Well Me, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle were gonna try to get our Cutie Marks in paintball!” She strikes a combat pose.

That makes you chuckle.

You take the two plates and place them in the sink.

You turn around and see a blur of yellow and pink dive out of view from a window.

That Pegasus ain’t right.

You volunteer to walk her to town.

She lets you this time.

Thank goodness. Not for her safety, but for yours. You know you’ll be ok once you’re in a population center.

Damn she has a big smile.

She must really love paintball.

Wow, she’s not shutting up either.

Silly kid.

You smile, nod, and occasionally laugh.

You wish you could give her a bit more attention, but something still eats away at the back of your mind.

Oh well, you know where you can find answers.

You leave the three fillies screaming about something.

Twilight. She should be able to help. She knows everything.

You knock on the door to the giant tree and greet the small dragon that answers the door.  
Just a normal afternoon.

Spike brings you in and like always, Twilight has her nose in a book.

”Hey Twi”

She looks up from her reading and perks up. “Oh! have you finally agreed to let me experiment on you?”

You look to Spike and he just rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

Damn creepy mare “Um, no... Do you have any books on how to raise a young Pegasus?”

”Huh... that’s an odd request.” She turns to her book shelf “Let’s see... ‘How to deal with unicorn’s magic spurts’... ‘Earth ponies and everypony else’.... Huh, nothing about young Pegasus.”

You curse silently to yourself and go to leave.

”Why were you looking for such a specific book?” She asks.

Oh yeah. Twilight = Smart. She could help. Thanks brain

About damn time you.

Shut up brain.

”Hey, um Twi. Do you know what happened to Scootaloo’s parents?”

She scrunches her nose in thought “No not really. Come to think of it... No that has to be coincidence.”

”Any help would be great.” You plead

She sighs. “Well, Rainbow Dash nor Fluttershy has ever mentioned parents. Maybe it’s a Pegasus thing.”

You were afraid of that. Your next stop will have to be Fluttershy’s

 

Thank Celestia Twilight needed Spike to drop something off with Fluttershy.

”Hey Spike, can I ask you something?”

He looks up at you, waddling adorably comically. “Yeah of course.”

”What do you know about your parents?”

He stops and for a second you think you might have offended the guy. Instead he has his chin in his claw “Hmmm. Nothing. I was hatched in Canterlot and I’ve been Twilight’s assistant for as long as I can remember.”

Dang, was hoping for inspiration here. “So no idea where baby dragons come from eh?”

He picks the pace back up. “Well, when a mommy dragon and daddy dragon like each other...”  
Are you really getting the ‘birds and the bees’ talk from what everyone describes as a ‘Baby Dragon’?

Loser

I think I’ve had enough of you brain.

What are you going to do bitch?

”...And then they lay an egg. and a baby dragon comes out.” Spike finishes his educational lecture.

And what fortuitous timing because here’s Fluttershy’s house.....

Damn feet, why you so cold?

Fuck you, that’s why.

Don’t you start too feet.

You look down at Spike “Maybe you should go first.”

He snickers at you “Hahaha baby”

Low blow little dude, low blow.

Don’t let him show you up. Don’t hide in the background.

You stay next to him as he approaches the door and knocks.

The door swings open and you look down to see a hitman of a hare staring up at you.

SHIT BAIL!

Spike rolls on the floor laughing.

He doesn’t know man, he wasn’t there.

You crawl out and compose yourself. “Ahem, is the lady of the house available?”

He stares. Why is something so small so scary?

After a moment he hops away.

Damn, she appears at the door like a cartoon. She wasn’t there one second and then BAM there she is.

”Oh... um... hi.. are you... I...”

This was a bad idea.

Indeed it was

Glad we’re in agreement brain

Spike breaks the awkwardness. “Here’s the book Twilight wanted you to proof read” Thanks for the assist little dude. “A Theory on Human Reproduction.”

God damn shit balls ass!

No, now’s not the time to waiver. You came here with a purpose.

”Fluttershy, I need to talk to you about something.”

She turns red “Yes of course, come in.”

You start to step through the doorway

AWOOGAAWOOGA!

Whoa, good save brain

”Let’s uh... walk and talk, it’s such a beautiful day.” Close, too close.

She smiles “Oh my yes, please after you.”

The three of you walk in silence for a bit. You decide to wave Spike away.

As much as you don’t want to do it, you wave Spike away.

Fluttershy looks like she’s walking on air.

Oh wait, she is. She’s using her wings to bring herself to eye level with you.

“So... um... what did you want to talk about?” Damn, she’s so excited she put a little bit of volume in her voice.

”Tell me about your parents” Direct approach, best approach

Maybe not, Shocked her so much she forgot to flap and is back on the ground.

”Oh my.. I... Oh...” This is more than just her usual semi-adorable faltering.

”If this is a touchy subject, I can wait until Rainbow gets back.”

She gets back up “Oh no, I WANT to help you. To be honest, I don’t know.”

Oh man, Fluttershy’s an orphan too?

“Pegasus don’t have families like everypony else. We’re raised as a group especially after joining Flight School.”

Wow, that actually makes things better. Just wait until Scootaloo gets into flight school... But why’s she here?

Why isn’t she “communally raised” in an approved Pegasus living commune?

Why isn’t Dash here? She could help a lot better.

What’s that feeling on your butt?

Damnit Fluttershy. You give her a stern look and she pulls her hoof away with an “eep”

Wow, she ran just from your stare... Oh no, Scootaloo’s running up, covered head to hoof in paint.

Tie-dyed pony lawl.

Scootaloo regales you with tails of bravery on the field of battle.

Daring assaults and harrowing defenses.

All very exciting stuff. You actually forget the very pressing concern in your mind.

Unfortunately, no Cutie Mark

She leaves dirty hoof prints on your floor as she enters. When she notices, she looks up at you apologetically

Dang, the paint makes them all technicolored

You laugh to yourself. “Don’t worry Scoots, No big deal. Hit the showers”

She manages to figure out your freakish custom shower on her own. It would be awkward to see her naked.

She’s a pony dummy, she’s always naked.

Shut up brain, you know what I mean.

Hmm, guess it’s time to be responsible and make some food for the two of you.

Still cake left..... No, not today

You pull out a large bowl and quickly throw together a salad.

You keep some flowers around for when you have your Rainbro over.

Dang she needs to hurry back. Maybe you’re way in over your head.

You throw the Daisies into her bowl and set her place.

Well look at you Mr. Responsible-adult-like-man.

.......Spot on brain, spot on. feelsgoodman.jpg

As another day draws to a close, you don’t even keep up the ploy of asking if she wants to stay the night.

”I guess I should see about getting another room built on.” You idly muse to yourself.  
Scootaloo looks at you somewhat puzzled.

”Can’t have you sleeping on the couch all the time. That’s rude. Especially if you’re going to be staying here from now on”

That damn smile she has is taking up her entire face.

”How’s this Scoots, you take the bed tonight. The couch will be fine for me.” You tussle her mane.

The only thing keeping her down this time is your hand on her head.

“Ohmygoshreallythankyouthankyou”

Uh-oh, she’s slipped your grip.... Oh... well, she’s hugging you.

Affection, what is this?

You put her arms around her and return her hug “Ok ok Squirt, go get ready for bed.”

She’s still smiling, as she rushes off.

You lay back on the couch and reflect.

Well, I have to admit, you might be able to do something right.

Thank you brain, that means a lot to me right now.

Oh you’re still going to mess it up somehow.

Stop being such a downer brain.

Damn couch. Now you feel awful for making Scootaloo sleep on it 2 nights in a row.

Maybe you’re just not as young as you thought you were.

Oh not you too body.

You get up to use the bathroom.

As you pass your bedroom door, you hear something.

Is that... crying?

You peek in.

She’s curled up against your pillow, muffling her sobs.

Damnit... what do you do? just let her be?

No, she’s a kid. You’re taking responsibility for her.

You slowly walk in and sit on the edge of the bed.

”Hey kid, you ok?” You reach out and put a hand on her back.

Oh man, those tear drenched eyes. It breaks your heart.

And your heart’s been such a bro this whole time too.

”Did... did you have a bad dream?” Man you’re bad at this.

Despite your terribleness, she nods.

You lay next to her and she immediately latches onto you.

”It’s ok Scoots. If you want, I’ll stay with you tonight.”

You think you hear her squeak “thank you”

”Ok ok. I won’t leave you, I won’t go anywhere”

Well that just made her cry harder, good job.

Morning comes.

YOU CAN’T BREATHE!

What’s on your chest?!?!

Oh... OH RIGHT. It’s just Scootaloo

She’s comfortably draped across your chest still snoozing.

Eh, let her sleep.... Uh oh...

BLADDER!!!!!!!

You successfully manage to free yourself and tuck her back in.

Damn cute filly being all cute and stuff.

Perhaps you should ask her what her nightmare was last night.

That’s what a responsible da.... caretaker does right?

Why are you so bad at this?

No don’t think like that. You’re not bad, you’re doing ok.

You whip up a quick breakfast for two

Plenty of fruits and veggies and just in time

She saunters out of your room, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “Ngh Morning”

”Hey there kiddo,”

Kiddo? Seriously idiot?

Too early for this brain

She pulls up a chair and digs in happily.

”So, any plans today?”

Her eyes go wide and she shouts with a mouth full of food. “YEAH! Rainbow Dash is coming back today and I’m going to meet her and she’s going to tell me all about BoltCon and how AWESOME it was!”

Oh fucking score! Dash comes back today.

After breakfast you start talking about Scootaloo’s hobbies. The top of which seems to be her friends and her board.

”Hey,” you say “Maybe I could see you do some sweet tricks.”  
Oh she jumps at that. “Why wait? C’mon let’s go!”

How is something so small pushing you out the door. Not that you object, you want to get involved in her hobbies and all.

She puts on her helmet, grabs her board, and with an odd buzzing sound she’s rocketing down the road.

One sweet bootlegger turn later and she’s zooming back towards you.

Man she’s fast.

Oh jeez, she launched off that dirt mound.

Sweet 360 followed by a Superman and perfect landing.

Damn, she’s pretty good and you cheer to let her know.

She passes and you catch the smile she flashes you.

She keeps it up for about an hour.

You’re considering calling her in. She insists on just one more trick.

Bam, off the ramp. She leans back... back flip sweet.

Oh man, she let go of the board... ballsy trick.

That’s no trick.

Her wings flapping does little to soften the impact.

Your heart stops as you watch her slide to a stop.

You rush over. It isn’t until she stirs that you remember you need to breathe.

It’s ok, you just killed the filly you were looking after.

No big deal, these things happen.

She groans and gets to her hooves.

Thank you Jeebus!

”Scoots, are you ok?” You rush to her side and start checking her over.

She just sighs and nods.

A few small scratches and a couple of bumps, but she seems ok.

You follow her eyes to... her board.

The impact sure did a number on it. Or rather it’s in a number... of pieces.

She sighs heavily and takes a seat. “I’m just no good at anything.”

Whoa “Hey now. You were great out there. All because you wiped out once doesn’t mean you should just give up.”

She kicks a rock. “I don’t know why I even try...”

”No,” you snap, getting her attention “The only guaranteed way to fail is to not even try or just give up. All you need to do is clean your battle wounds and get back to it.” Oh that’s good, maybe you should let Twilight know for one of her letters.

She tries to smile but looks back to her board. “Not with my ride like THAT.”

You playfully scoff at her. “That old thing? Not cool enough for a wheeled speedster like yourself. I’ll just have to make you a new one and awesomize it for you a bit.”

Ah finally, a real smile from her.

Heh, maybe this whole “dad” thing won’t be too hard

....... Dad? shit.

You guess that’s what you are to her now.

Dad. Damn

A stupid thought hits you. Do you need to make this official? Is there a Ponyville adoption agency you need to go to first?

That’s something you need to look into. Sooner preferable to later.

You decide to make sure her scratches are dressed properly and let her have free reign of your movie stash.

You let her know you’ll be back in a bit and promise that if you see Rainbow Dash, you’ll bring her by.

You are a man with a mission. Focused on the job that needs to be done.... too focused.

Your head hurts really bad. The trees are moving really weird.

Wait a second, it’s not the trees moving, it’s you.

”Looks like yer finally up Sugarcube.” Ah yes, the friendly tones of Applejack.

”Not now... please not now” You groan out.

You stop moving and AJ stands over you. “Well gots ta be today. I just been so derned busy and our friend Dashie is supposed to get back today.”

You struggle a bit “No, you don’t get it.”

”Nope I do not atall.” She starts running a hoof up your thigh.

”Stop it, you don’t understand, she NEEDS me.”

AJ scoffs “Who, Dash? She don’t...” You don’t give her a chance to continue.

”Not her you heartless bitch!” You shout, making AJ jump. “Scootaloo... No one or p0ny cares one ounce for her. But I do.”

AJ frowns, hesitates, then starts to undo the ropes. “I’m sorry. I... I know I’m not the brightest lightenin’ bolt in the cloud, but family... even unorthydox ones, I understand completely.”  
You get up without a word and pokerface in full effect.

”I jus’ thought Fluttershy was tellin’ a tale.” I... I’m sorry ther Anon.”

Accept, accept and run you fool.

You give her a hug.

TOO MUCH TOO MUCH!

Stow it brain, I do what I want.

 

”Thank you AJ.” and away you go.

Still dusting off after being drug around.

You probably have a massive bump or at least bleeding. Great.

Who do you even go to?

About Scootaloo, not the bump.

Well... who would know the most? Probably the Mayor herself.

Yup off to town hall. She seemed pretty approachable. Let you get your own land deed, helped in building your house.

Well not physically, but she happily made sure everything was signed.

You brush yourself down one more time on the steps of city hall.

Deeeeep breath.

You enter the surprisingly modest government facility.

You look around for a bit before you remember she doesn’t have a secretary.

Just walking in it is then.

The doors swing open wide and you put the biggest friendliest smile you can.

”Miss Mayor, I’d like to file adoption paperwork!”

”Oh my,”

Caught her off guard, heh advantage: Anon.

”I’m sorry,” she says “but I don’t think I can allow that.”

Dumbstruck.

Quick you fool! Say something.

Well then stop yelling at me and do something brain!

”It’s because I’m a human isn’t it?” Sweet, pull that species card.

”What?!?” Aha got her now. “Not at all!”

”You don’t want your ‘pure Pony children’ interacting with lowly Homo Sapiens”

Miss Mayor stands from her desk. You know she doesn’t have a hoof to stand on. “Now see here, I have nothing against you Homos.”

Wait what? That’s not right, do something!

”Uh... Hey, that’s OUR word.”

Smooth

Not now.

Miss Mayor grunts disapprovingly. “Who is this regarding? You must have a specific Colt and/or Filly in mind.”

Ok, time to drop the offended act, it’s not working.

”Scootaloo....”

”Oh my,” She interupts. “Yes, I understand... My hooves are still tied, but I understand.”

Stupid laws

”Listen, it’s ok if she stays with you. Nopony will stop you. Actual adoption is reserved only for couples though.”

Well, you guess that’s ok. Not the marriage thing, the ‘it’s ok if she lives with you’ part.

You change the tone and ask for permission to conduct home extension. After everything, she agrees and you slink your dumb ass out.

Ok, so you’ve made progress today.

Scootaloo inadvertently prevented a rape attempt.

You got the go ahead of sorts to let her stay with you AND your bro should be coming home any time now.

Yup things are coming up Anon.

On your way back home... What’s that in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? NO it’s Rainbow Dash.

You give a friendly wave, doubting she even saw you.

To your surprise, she banks your way, does a few loops and lands like a feather right next to you.  
Brohoof.jpg

”So? How was it?” You ask excitedly, almost bouncing like a schoolgirl.

Damn, the mayor was right.

She takes her hooves and holds your face. She’s staring directly at you with a deadpan stare. “It.... was AWESOME!”

The two of you squeal a bit and do a little jump.

Yup, looks like you’ll be needing that word.

In your excitement, you almost forgot. “OH wait to tell me until we get to my place. I kind of have a guest over and they’d LOVE to hear all about it.”

She lets you go and the two of you start walking home.

Yup, Scootaloo will love this.”

You walk. Dash keeps herself occupied by doing loops and rolls in the clouds.

Yup your bro’s back, Scoots will be ecstatic, all around a good day.

You get to your door and pop it open.

Scootaloo was busy trying to clean and helped herself to the last of the cake. Whatever, she deserves it.

Dash trots in and the second Scootaloo sees her, she’s bounding around the couch  
”Oh my gosh you’re back! What was it like? Was it fun? I wish I could go!” bounce bounce bounce

Rainbow chuckles “Heh yeah... Um Anon.”

She pulls you in close and whispers “What’s she doing here?”

Oh that Rainbro, you should have told her sooner. She probably never took you for a kid person.

”Well, I let her stay with me for a bit... She was all alone and well... I guess I’ve adopted her for a while.”

Dash gives a half smile. “After she goes to bed, I think we need to have a talk.”

Well that was cryptic.

You make a nice dinner and Dash tells of all the sights and wonders she experienced at BoltCon.

Through the whole thing you get the distinct impression that she’s just mildly putting up with the added presence.

Soon enough though, the excitement proves enough for your young filly charge.

With a warm smile, you carry her to your bed and tuck her in. You can withstand that couch for a little bit longer.

When you get back though, Dash has a solemn look. “Anon.... Don’t get too attached to her.”

WTF?

”Whoa bro, that’s a little harsh isn’t it?” You sit on the couch, man the tension is REALLY thick right now.

Dash shakes her head. “It’s complicated. It’s a Pegasus thing.”

Oh now you get it. “Listen, I know you all don’t have a nuclear family structure, but I think this is for the best.”

She sighs again “No, that’s not it... She can’t fly.”

Huh? These ponies are weird. “All because she can’t really fly doesn’t mean she can’t be loved Dash.”

She face hoofs and growls. “You just don’t.... Ugh you wouldn’t understand!”

You get up angrily. How dare she. “I’m a lot smarter then I look Rainbow, give me SOME credit.”

”No no,” Hah now she’s on the defensive. “I know you’ll understand, but you won’t UNDERSTAND.... Damnit, I need a drink.”

You let her raid your stash. She doesn’t even bother with a glass and takes a long pull straight from the bottle.

”She... She’s not here because she’s trying to lead a normal life.”

Damn cryptic ponies “So?”

”She’s here to find her place... Weak fliers have no place in the sky. If she can’t find her place on the ground like Fluttershy.... She’s going to.... The Factory.”

You gulp hard “What ‘Factory?’”

She collapses on the couch. “The Rainbow Factory.... In there, not a single soul can get through alive.”

Welp... let’s take inventory.

This morning you were the happy father figure to an abandoned adorable little Pegasus. Now you’re apparently just an in between until she gets shipped off to a Pegasus death camp.

Whatthefuckiswrongwiththisplace?

You sit in stunned silence for what feels like forever. You snatch the bottle from Rainbow and start chugging.

Hey buddy, you might want to take it easy

No liver, not today

Okay

Rainbow breaks the silence. “Well, it’s not like it’s a guarantee... there are loopholes”

”You bitch,” you cough as you suppress angry tears, yup totally manly tears of anger. “you knew... You of all p0nies knew the most.”

”Anon, I...”

You don’t let her finish. “Don’t justify this. Don’t you DARE say this is ‘just your way’” Watch it dude, you’re getting pretty tense.

I know body, can’t help it right now.

”She needs somepony, someone, ANYONE... She needs a hero. A real one, not an idol fad like you.” Venom drops off of every syllable. “I think you need to go before I do something I may regret.”

She slips out, head low.

Once again, you collapse on the couch. All your emotions come pouring out of you.

Hate to say I told you so.

For the love of Celestia brain...

I know, we’ll figure something out, together.

Thanks brain.

The morning comes way too soon.

Once again, it’s hard for you to move.... What the?

Oh, Scootaloo found her way out and is laying over your chest again. Heh, cute.

You remember last night.... fuck

You throw your arms around her and give a shuddering sigh.

How could they? Just about everything here, Equestria, was nearly straight out of a kids cartoon show. How could they?

How many know about this? The Mayor seemed a bit sympathetic when you mentioned Scootaloo. Does she know or was she just showing concern for a poor orphan?

Fluttershy? Maybe, She’s as much an Earth pony as there could be with wings. Even if she did, her fragile psyche probably blocked it years ago.

Damn, you probably tuned away your only chance. What was it Rainbow said? “Loopholes”?

You guess you should ask her yourself. But that means having to face... Well she’s not your Rainbro right now. Well she’s certainly hurting things... Painbow?

No that sucks.

Scootaloo stirs on your chest.

She blinks awake and gives you a sheepish smile you return.

”Sleep ok Scoots?”

”Yeah... What time is it?” She bolts off your chest “OH NO I’M LATE! The Crusaders were going kayaking today!”

You wish her luck and see her out the door.

Yeah, that’s it kid... Good luck.

Fine fine fine

The clouds are still out and it’s supposed to be clear. Dash is probably still at home.

You race to her cloud and start hollering.

No answer.

Well rock, I’m counting on you.

You wind up and just as you’re about to let it fly...

”What are you doing?” You jump and the rock flies in any old direction.

”Oh uh hey Dash....” You wish you had something planned out.

The wind whips the leaves around a bit as you two stand in awkward silence.

”Did you want anything? Or were you just planning on vandalizing my home?”

Yup, she’s probably just as pissed at you after last night.

”I... need your help.” You admit as you finally meet her eyes.

Wait, that’s not anger. She’s sad, hurt.

”Yeah, I know.”

”So..”

”So?”

”Are we cool Rainbro?” You hold your fist out.

She hovers for a second and pounds it “Yeah, I deserved it.”

The two of you walk for a bit and decide to stop at a outdoor restaurant.

Maybe you’re still in shock, there’s no way this is the way things are.

Rainbow breaks the silence. “It’s not that I don’t care... It’s just that.. It’s the way things are.”  
You’re getting tense again.

She must sense that. “I know it’s wrong. It’s just that nop0ny’s ever questioned it. I guess I fell in with tradition. I’m sorry.”

Tensions easing. “It’s ok I guess. Not like this is the only thing done just because of ‘tradition.”

You look at her summoning all your determination “What were the loopholes you were talking about?”

Rainbow casually leans back, “Well there are 3 things I can think of. One, She passes recertification at Flight Academy”

You don’t think that will happen

”Two, She finds her cutie mark for something ground related.”

Possibility

”Or 3, she gets adopted.”

Well sheeeeeet you wanted to do that from the get go.

Only one problem, You need to get married.

Go ahead jimmies, rustle away.

Where do you even start to express how unhappy you are with this idea?

There is nothing more wrong with this whole situation.

Dear Celestia, God, Buddha, FSM, whatever... Don’t let this happen. ANY of this.

Your head hurts, probably because you’ve been bouncing it off the table for the past 30 minutes.

Well, here it goes. “Rainbow.... will you... uh... You know.” YOU FEEL SO DIRTY!

She scrunches her nose. “Yeah, NO. You’re a bro and all, but... I can’t.”

You breathe a sigh of relief. What? Why? That would have made things super easy!

Still... your Bro and all.

That’s ok, just find someone... pony else.

This sucks.

The only two you can think of that would probably consider it is Fluttershy and Applejack.

So here it is, what would you do to protect her? How far would you go to keep Scootaloo safe?

Questions like that always seemed to relate to action movies and involved manly men doing manly things. If only you could be a Commander Badass.

No apparently not.

”Wait, how much time do we have left even? What age do they hunt these kids down?”

”Should be her next birthday. I know she just celebrated one, same day as Apple Bloom.”

Good then, you have some time.

You spend the rest of the day and into the week in a funk. You try your best to hit the town and find suitable.... females.

It doesn’t work. They’re all very nice, but that’s just not your thing.

You decide to take a break and start building Scootaloo’s Scooter.

None of that ram shackled wooden planks and shit for your girl. No way.

This is going to be the fine stuff. You manage to get a nice lightweight metal with the help of Twilight.

You successfully managed to harness Pinkie Power(tm) to bend and mold the metal.

Rarity threw on some flair.

Hell, even Applejack and Fluttershy put in some work.

Come to think of it. After it got out that you were looking after Scootaloo, they became a lot more tolerable.

It starts really coming together and you have to admit, you’re not too bad at this whole dad thing.

It’s been about a month since you took Scootaloo in.

She’s happier than you’ve ever seen her and that’s saying a lot because she was always a cheerful filly.

You had been out shopping for food and you noticed something else.

Having her around has changed your mood as well.

You’re smiling a lot more and eating better.

You go out of your way to greet p0nies in town and now you always have something to say even if most ask “How’s Scootaloo doing?”

You’re heading home when Rainbow Dash soars down towards you.

Maybe she’ll want to come over, you know how much Scoots idolizes her.

The look on her face isn’t reassuring.

She’s out of breath but still manages “She... She lied about her birthday.”

You drop your shopping.

Brain?

Yeah?

I hope you have something...

”Well wait wha...” You start as you begin to process

Rainbow takes a deep breathe. “She must have just wanted a ‘birthday’ with friends. Her real birthday wasn’t a few months ago... it was a few days ago.”

”Wait... why didn’t she tell me?”

”NOT IMPORTANT! They have her, the Rainbow Patrol’s taking her now!”

All the no’s

Wait a second dude.

Fuck off brain, now is the time for action.

NO! I need to tell you.... I’m with you man.

Thanks brain, let’s do this.

You bolt to your house, the door had already been kicked in.

In your room.

YES

You grab the small wrapped package and head out down the road.

You’re running faster than you’ve ever run.

Take off!

Wait, what?

Dash has you by your armpits....

”You... you’re going to help?” You shout up to her over the noise.

She looks down at you and smiles. “I’m your bro, you know I got your back.”

“What about ‘tradition’ and all that stuff?”

Her gaze is stern and set in stone. “Fuck tradition, this is a family matter.”

 

Ok, this is bad, but you’re sure things will....

Damn that cloud’s low to the ground.

that’s no cloud, that’s a zeppelin.

Dang that thing is huge, how did you miss that flying outside of P0nyville?

Dash looks down at you, “You’ll get one free shot. I’ll try to land you close by.”

Free shot? Free shot at what?

Whoa! that’s a dive... The ground’s getting pretty close.

What’s that?

Shit, 2 Pegasus guards and 1 Scootaloo. Now you get it.

Perpendicular angle to them, buzzing the grassline, getting close.

You raise your feet up and brace for impact.

Damnit! the first guard spots you and hits the dirt.

No such luck for the second.

BAM! DOWN GOES FRAZIER!

Dash whips around and you’re back on the ground not 10 feet away.

Oh man, that guard that ducked is back up.

”What do you hope to accomplish?” He booms at you. “Even if she were to try to run, it would just fail!”

”“The only guaranteed way to fail,” you say as you toss out the package you were so set to grab. “Is to not even try.”

The scooter you’ve worked so hard on rolls to a stop just in front of Scootaloo.

She looks at it for a second and smiles.

Now you got it kid.

What’s that move where you grab the handlebars and whip the scooter/bike’s body around?

Whatever it is, Scoots does it.

The remaining guard falls to the ground as his foreleg gets smacked out from under him.

You don’t need to say it, but you do anyways. “RUN!”

Damn you forgot how fast she could be on one of those things.

Two more guards pile out of the zeppelin.

Dash, damn that magnificent mare.

She buzzes them hard and fast and they take off after her.

All that’s left is Captain Killjoy who’s recovered and starts off towards Scoots.

Oh hell nah!

10 feet? You close that easy.

Want to fly ass? Well you have a hold of his back legs and.... uh-oh

Dummy, Dash could lift you, why did you think he couldn’t.

Carry? I don’t care!

FALCON PUNCH!

You rolled a nat 20 on your called shot, his balls.

Ok, new problem, gravity.

You grab him around the waist and twist your body.

You saw this in a movie once.

In theory, his body will absorb most of the impact and your kinetic energy will.....

Hello ground.

You cough and spit the blood out of your mouth.

You pray you only bit your lip.

Now, have to make sure...

AH MY LEG!

A hoof knocks your leg out from under you.

A second sends you to the ground sprawled on your back.

Damn, this asshole’s still alive and kicking.

He’s on you. Pinning you to the ground with his fore hooves.

He rears back and...

Crack! There goes a rib or two.

”Couldn’t just let the little waste go, could you?” He growls as he rears back.

Sorry Scoots, Hope you can find some other family.

What’s that noise?

Damn, your girl CAN fly.

She leans back.

A backflip, ballsy move.

The rear wheel of Scootaloo’s scooter makes contact with the homicidal guards face.

He sprawls across the field.

She swings back around.

Why isn’t she smiling? She should be ecstatic.

You look over your shoulder.

Oh, may have something to do with the small army behind you.

Well, it was fun. You did your best.

Least you can do is go down with some dignity.

”Company!” You hear a cry from somewhere. “CHARGE!”

Welp....

The first few ranks stop. They don’t just stop, they hit something, like an invisible wall.

Are you a wizard?

Wait, what are you seeing?

A boulder flies out of left field and breaks the ranks.

From the rear, it looks like bodies are flying.

Is that? Is that really Pinkie Pie sucking p0nies into a cartoon dust cloud?

You turn to run, but you notice that at least 3 guards had found their way around the shield, guess it wasn’t a bubble.

”You hurt my friend, I will be. YOUR. END!” Fluttershy impacts the ground between you and them.

Are they just running from her stare? Damn.

Rainbow pops down next to you. “Get Scootaloo and get out of here Dash.” You shout.

She doesn’t question you. She takes the kid and zooms off.

You turn back as the last of the dust settles. Aside from Fluttershy who’s now next to you and Rainbow Dash, you see Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie, and Applejack.

You... you helped me.

”Well duh silly, we’re your friends.”

”And we couldn’t possibly let poor Scootaloo suffer any heartache.” Rarity adds.

Damn, that was... damn.

An unfamiliar voice calls from the battlefield. “Bravo, my little ponies.”

Fluttershy starts shaking next to you and her eyes are nothing but pinpricks.

You put a comforting hand on her shoulder. It doesn’t help much.

“Th...th....the Director....” She spits out.

Through the smoke walks a muscled, older Pegasus with an eyepatch.

Why an eyepatch? Oh that’s right, because he’s evil.

You puff out your chest and stare him down. “You’re not taking her.” You warn.

The bastard laughs. “What? Will you use the ‘Elements of Harmony’ to turn me into a sunflower or something?”

Oh man. Brain you with me?

Fuck yes.

Feet? What’s the temperature like?

Hot bro.

Body?

I’ve seen better days, but I’ll manage.

Heart?

Do you even need to ask?

”They could use the elements.” You start walking towards him, picking up a stick as you do. “Or I could just beat on you until you beg me to stop.”

The ass is just smiling at you

You start walking fast. Just before you break into a run, you hear Rainbow.

”Stop!”

What the hell? She’s supposed to be getting Scootaloo out of here, why’s are they back.

The Director looks up at her. “Ah finally, somepony with a sense of tradition.” He points to the ground with a hoof. “If you’d be so kind and bring the child here please.”

Ha, like she’d ever.... What? Rainbow? why are you going to him?

Her head hangs low “you’re a p0ny of tradition and rules huh?”

Bro, why are you doing this?

With outstretched hooves, she presents Scootaloo, poor Scootaloo. She’s not even struggling.

The Director pauses, examines the filly.

He just shrugs and turns away leaving Dash with Scootaloo.

”Oh well, traditions are tradition. I’ll spare any repercussions seeing as though you all are the Princess’ special favorites.”

What’s happening?

Twilight interjects. “Oh don’t worry, she’ll hear all about it and this factory!”

The Director turns and raises an eyebrow. “My dear, who do you think authorized the facility in the first place?”

And like that, he takes off.

That’s it.

You fall back into the dirt, sitting in stunned silence.

”Th.. Thank you.” Is all you can muster.

They’re all looking at you with smiles.

Friends looking after friends. Can it get any better?

Dash flutters over and lets Scootaloo down in front of you.

She has her mark... She found her place.

A scooter overlayed on what appears to be a painted human hand.....

No helping it, you’re crying and you don’t give a damn.

She smiles, her own eyes misting over. “You... you came for... for me.”

”Didn’t I say i wasn’t going to just leave you?”

She flies into your arms and presses her face into your chest. “Daddy!”

Well that just made you cry harder.


End file.
